It's such a funny fragile thing.
When you're young, you really don't give it much thought. Everything just works, and it's all very resilient. Hurts get kissed away. Broken things mend.
I don't think, as a young person, or even in my prime, in my 30s, was I ever concerned about my health. Maybe it's just not in the DNA of the my generation. Given much, we just consumed. And being from the South, it was usually fried.
So, as my diabetes has become more out of control, I've been testing my blood constantly. With Jim gone, I've had a chance to really focus on what I eat, and how much. I've also been doing light exercise. Squats and push-ups. And brisk walking.
And it's all working. My blood sugars had been hitting in the 180s and 190s.
This week, it was in the 80s - 110s, pre-meal.
In fact, it's been so good, that last night it was 68, which is borderline too low. In fact, 70 is where the doctor wanted me to start lowering the insulin dosage.
I've stayed mostly close to home. Cooked every meal myself, except for one night when I ate ONE piece of pizza (as opposed to devouring half the pie), and food off the Halal cart down on the corner -- chicken over rice (to which I add broccoli).
I've also been doing food prep work in the mornings. I've never thought about "food prep," to tell you the truth. But the fact is that since I'm a writer, I'm typing or playing the piano, and totally lose sense of time. Then, when I want to eat, I don't want to think about it. I just want to reach out, eat, and go back to my writing pod.
So, since, from the TV cooking shows, I learned about blanching, I go out and get fresh broccoli and asparagus from the farmer's market down the street. And each morning, I blanch it and keep it in the fridge alongside the chicken breasts, chopped turkey, and lean meats. I also chop up the salad mixings, which consist of dark colored lettuces and spinach. And I got some non-fat, non-sugar dressings.
It's really nice to have it at my fingertips when I don't want to pull myself away from my project.
But the time invested to carefully think about my diet is a new thing for me, even now at the age of 58. And my whole being is fighting against it.
How I want to just pig out on pizza.